THERE'S PRESSURE IN YOUR 20s TO HAVE YOUR SHIT TOGETHER.
I felt that pressure everyday going to work and managing a full course load of classes at the local community college. Yes, I had my sh*t together. I had okay grades and was making okay money with two jobs, but I wasn't happy. I didn't understand how I could be doing everything right but still feel so incomplete.
A month before my 22 birthday, I realized it was time to make a change. I didn't know what I needed to do, I just knew I needed to do something. I mapped out every part of my life and thought about what parts of it I could change. I hated college. Just waking up knowing I had to go to class in the evening made me angry. I never asked myself why, I just went to class, often buying new school supplies just to encourage myself to stay focused. Then, it hit me. It's not that I hated college, I hated my classes. Hating my classes meant I hated my major! I was going to school for business marketing and as I was inching towards graduation, I knew I didn't want to work for a corporation and sell products for other people. I was taking an elective course in public relations and realized I loved communications. I dropped all of my marketing courses and switched my major to Professional Communications. I felt a weight off of my shoulders and had a small celebration as I picked out my communications classes for the next semester.
I had been working two jobs for the past year to move out of my parent's house. The only problem was, the way the United States and minimum wage work, there was no way in hell I would be able to afford rent, insurance, groceries, and a car payment with the income I was getting on my own.
I gave up on saving to move out and spent all of the savings I had on plane tickets to visit my boyfriend who was out of state in college and a brand new weave (I had to look nice when I visited my boyfriend). So there I was, two-job shawty with no savings and what seemed like no money. I started to accumulate credit card debt in the thousands. If I needed a new weave, I charged it. Oh, my FAFSA doesn't fully cover my tuition? Charge it. Oh, I scheduled a photoshoot but don't have money to pay the photographer? Does he take cards? Charge it. Then one day, a mentor of mine just so happened to ask me how much I had saved up. At that time I had about $50 in my account. He asked me how much money I made with two jobs and what I spent my money on. He was all up in my business, but I was tired of being broke so I told him about my finances, hoping he would tell me how I could become wealthy like him. Like a slap across my face with the back of his hand, I had a wake up call. This man told me there was no way I was in a position to buy a chicken sandwich from Wendy's or that fancy tea from Caribou Coffee everyday. I spent $5 a day on food. That was nothing to me until I did the math and realized I spent nearly $100 every paycheck on fast food -- money I could be saving!
I stopped buying fast food and started buying groceries to cook at home. I canceled my fancy gym membership and started actually going outside. I canceled all my unnecessary subscriptions online and put my credit card in a sealed envelop, out of my wallet. Then, contradictory to everything I just said, I quit one of my jobs. I was now managing my money, but I wasn't managing my time. Yes, two jobs and school was responsible and the perfect picture of having my sh*t together. But, in reality my sh*t was all over the place. Trying to do it all is great, but if you're not doing it all well, then it's not so great. I decided I needed to free up my time to focus on school and be great at it so I could finally graduate. I also decided to free up my time to start working on my goals.
I wanted to focus on my music and start a few business. I couldn't do that when my entire day was work, work, school.
Long, long story short, I'm making steps to find my happy place -- a place that is financially stable, debt free, and fulfilling. Longer story short, map out your life. What can be different? Start with changing the little things.
Put yourself in a position to try things and don't settle for less! It's okay, you can have your sh*t together AND be happy.
THE NEXT STEP WAS MY JOB -- MY JOBS.
I had been working two jobs for the past year to move out of my parent's house. The only problem was, the way the United States and minimum wage work, there was no way in hell I would be able to afford rent, insurance, groceries, and a car payment with the income I was getting on my own.
DAMN.
I gave up on saving to move out and spent all of the savings I had on plane tickets to visit my boyfriend who was out of state in college and a brand new weave (I had to look nice when I visited my boyfriend). So there I was, two-job shawty with no savings and what seemed like no money. I started to accumulate credit card debt in the thousands. If I needed a new weave, I charged it. Oh, my FAFSA doesn't fully cover my tuition? Charge it. Oh, I scheduled a photoshoot but don't have money to pay the photographer? Does he take cards? Charge it. Then one day, a mentor of mine just so happened to ask me how much I had saved up. At that time I had about $50 in my account. He asked me how much money I made with two jobs and what I spent my money on. He was all up in my business, but I was tired of being broke so I told him about my finances, hoping he would tell me how I could become wealthy like him. Like a slap across my face with the back of his hand, I had a wake up call. This man told me there was no way I was in a position to buy a chicken sandwich from Wendy's or that fancy tea from Caribou Coffee everyday. I spent $5 a day on food. That was nothing to me until I did the math and realized I spent nearly $100 every paycheck on fast food -- money I could be saving!
AFTER THAT CONVERSATION, I STARTED TO SAVE A MAJORITY OF MY PAYCHECKS.
I stopped buying fast food and started buying groceries to cook at home. I canceled my fancy gym membership and started actually going outside. I canceled all my unnecessary subscriptions online and put my credit card in a sealed envelop, out of my wallet. Then, contradictory to everything I just said, I quit one of my jobs. I was now managing my money, but I wasn't managing my time. Yes, two jobs and school was responsible and the perfect picture of having my sh*t together. But, in reality my sh*t was all over the place. Trying to do it all is great, but if you're not doing it all well, then it's not so great. I decided I needed to free up my time to focus on school and be great at it so I could finally graduate. I also decided to free up my time to start working on my goals.
WHAT'S THE POINT OF BEING IN MY TWENTIES IF I CAN'T TRY THINGS?
I wanted to focus on my music and start a few business. I couldn't do that when my entire day was work, work, school.
Long, long story short, I'm making steps to find my happy place -- a place that is financially stable, debt free, and fulfilling. Longer story short, map out your life. What can be different? Start with changing the little things.
YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO THINGS THAT MAKE YOU UNCOMFORTABLE JUST BECAUSE IT LOOKS GOOD TO EVERYONE ELSE.
Put yourself in a position to try things and don't settle for less! It's okay, you can have your sh*t together AND be happy.
